That guy: "Where is your heart?"

Other guy: "You and that guy make a great team. There's not many people who would be willing to do that. It shows where your hearts are, that they are in the same place."

Sometimes there are days and moments and minutes and seconds and nuances in my life that I realize I am living the film I could never have written better for myself. I am in love with this.

He is tragic, yet beautiful :

A year later :

Fin.

Def[inition]s :

disappointed |ˌdisəˈpointid| adjective(of a person) sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one's hopes or expectations:
upset |ˌəpˈset| verb1 make (someone) unhappy, disappointed, or worried: (as adj. upsetting)
angry |ˈaNGgrē| adjectivehaving a strong feeling of or showing annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger:
hate |hāt| verbfeel intense or passionate dislike for (someone):
heavy |ˈhevē| adjective1 of great weight; difficult to lift or move:
burning |ˈbərniNG| adjectiveon fire:
hurt |hərt| verbcause physical pain or injury to:
spite |spīt| nouna desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone:
pain |pān| noun1 physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury:
terrible |ˈterəbəl| adjectiveextremely or distressingly bad or serious:
guilty |ˈgiltē| adjectiveculpable of or responsible for a specified wrongdoing: See also find, plead.
confusing |kənˈfyo͞oziNG| adjectivebewildering or perplexing:
nothing |ˈnəTHiNG| pronounnot anything; no single thing:adjectivehaving no prospect of progress; of no value:
frustrated |ˈfrəsˌtrātid| adjectivefeeling or expressing distress and annoyance, esp. because of inability to change or achieve something:
bitter |ˈbitər| adjective1 having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet:2 (of people or their feelings or behavior) angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment:

mean

²    [meen]  Show IPA

adjective, mean·er, mean·est.

1.

offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious:a mean remark; He gets mean when he doesn't get his way.

"Once you find something good, Max, you have to take care of it; you have to let it grow."

- A Good Year

Ways to keep a 7 AM anthro class awake #534 :

"We just keep keep fucking inventing things that kill off everything else - WE'VE GOT. FUCKING. BUG SPRAY."

- Anthro professor

“But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things.”

—Vincent van Gogh

Coffee and cigarettes :

I wish I felt something more fervently than I do now, something that screamed and commanded to be given words, demanded to be exhaled out my lungs and mouth. But I don't really have anything much to say, nothing too important at least.

There is a man sitting to my left, a drifter that seems familiar, though I am not quite sure how. He is reading a shitty newspaper article within a local LA magazine-esque thing, is wearing a felt black hat, smells horrific, but has an equally creepy, yet simultaneously disarming smile. There is something about him, a vague haze about him that has you in a trance for but a moment until you realize that if you look too long at him, he will come to you and haphazardly caress your face. This is not yet an exaggeration, I witnessed this instance a moment ago. Now he is close to my iPhone.

An man in his mid-forties is with him - at least, sitting next to him - and earlier, he asked me to use my computer to watch his Indian TV show. I said no, he insisted. I repeat: I said no, he insisted. We repeat.

I have twenty or more books stacked upon my shelves that I haven't yet read, yet I continue purchasing new ones. Come on, Natalie, read the damn things, they're only pages, right?

It hit me, I'm transferring. I am to transfer sooner than later, within the next year. I will be somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere new, hopefully. And I can't wait? I can wait, for now, for only a bit longer.

I want to take American sign language or French or something. I don't yet know, I want to learn how to pronounce things in French, I want to learn how to make shapes in ASL. We'll see.

My coffee is cold. My paper has yet to be written. I'm going to Santa Barbara for the day tomorrow. My coffee is cold. My paper is not written. I am going to Santa Barbara for the day tomorrow.

My coffee is colder now than it was before.

"The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity."

- Walt Whitman